I think I saw a Smoke Monster! Hawaii Day 1

Greetings! I am taking a break from my normal idle talk about teaching to talk idly about my "vacation" in Hawaii.

I have come here to apply for a job teaching English in Japan. I managed to schedule a couple of days in for relaxation before the anxiety ridden days of interviewing.

Today I started my day off my stepping out onto the deck outside my bedroom

I was absolutely blown away, and quite honestly I spent about three minutes just feeling like I was in heaven. I honestly didn't think there could be anything more beautiful.

I got on the internet and started looking for a good place to eat breakfast. I came across a little place called the "Hau Tree Lanai" It seemed like it might be good so I headed out.

After a few u-turns I found the hidden nook known as the Hau Tree Lanai. This place was amazing. Before I even ordered breakfast I was in love with the place. There were two large trees (presumably Hau trees?) hanging over a little eating area that overlooked the ocean.

The food was AMAZING! I ate French toast that had crushed Macadamia nuts on top with syrup and bacon. I drank green tea and some orange juice. I have never enjoyed quiet as much as I enjoyed that time under the Hau tree:)

Next I decided that I must mix business with pleasure and I drove to Wal-Mart to get some supplies for my lesson that I will teach during my interview. This was pretty painless.

I immediately switched back into vacation mode and I drove over to the International Market Place, where I had a very difficult time finding a place to park. Waikiki has more one way streets than downtown Portland. I know this since I drove the wrong way and a trolly almost plowed me over. He was very kind though...

I finally found a spot in the Waikiki Shopping Center lot. I walked over to the International Market and wandered around a little. It was very quiet over there. I think that it has lost its charm with the tourists. They have built a ton of new shops along that area, which probably hurts their little market:) I finally crossed over to the international food area. I enjoyed some Spicy Korean BBQ pork and some Philippino Lumpia. I didn't feel hungry, but I didn't hesitate to devour it all!

I can't get over just how good it smells here. The air is so fresh! Everywhere I go smells wonderful...

My friends that I am staying with made me spaghetti dinner this evening and it was wonderful. I also enjoyed their great conversation.

I am a little anxious about the upcoming interview, but I am going to try to enjoy tomorrow to its fullest. I'm going to drive over to Northshore and get some Matsumoto shave ice. I'm also going to track down some LOST sets along the way! I am really enjoying this!

What Dreams May Come?

As I sit here, welcoming the New Year, I begin to think of how life can be the most precious of things and the most tragic at the same time.

This year has seen some tragic times in my family, with the loss of two of its members. The year started off with some hope of getting a great teaching job, but as the year moved on it seemed apparent that I would just have to take the scraps that were given to me. Then my family had two very fun celebrations where we were able to forget about the pain for a few minutes and begin to celebrate each other again!

I was given a teaching job for four months that would show me who I really am, and what I am made of. I would make such a strong connection with five year olds that it now tears me to pieces, even thinking about leaving them in three weeks.

I sat with my family tonight on the coast, watching home videos from my mother, and aunt and uncle’s childhood. Seeing these shadows from the past really got me thinking about the brevity of life and how it truly is the greatest gift, and biggest burden of all!

I don’t know what the New Year holds for us, but I think I need to stop looking at what life is going to bring to me, instead wonder, who is the New Year going to lead me towards. What joys will I bring to those around me and how can I lighten the burden for those that need it? In the end it wont matter what job I got, or where I lived or the amount of money I made. The most important thing will be, did I make the world brighter or darker for those around me?

This is not easy for me to say, since I still am heart broken over not being able to be with my kindergartners for the rest of the year. I am uncertain of my future and if I will get a job this next year. I am anxious for what lies ahead, but if I focus on my affect on the present, then I believe my own burdens will be lightened, and I will enjoy the grace that God gives me on a daily basis.

This entire thought process started forming last night when I had a dream:

I came back to school after the winter break. When I walked into the classroom it was completely different than what I had left in December. There were gymnasium style mats all over the room, with small squares of carpet covering the mats. The children were running around and being disrespectful to me. I walked around the school trying to get support and no one was showing that they cared. There are more details in the dream, but the main idea is that I was deeply troubled.

When I woke up I immediately knew the message of the dream: I feel like my life is unpredictable right now, and I don’t feel like there is anyone that can do anything about it.

Being a control freak I considered what I can control in this scenario. Can I control my situation right now, no. All I can control is my focus. Focus on what you can control and the rest will fall into place, think of all the time you’ll save from not worrying over the uncontrollable!

Some great things will happen this year, and some tragic things will happen. The component that decides how people remember it is all about focus. What is your focus this year?

If I had one Christmas wish...

Well, I have made it to December and I am still alive. I have officially finished my Fall term in school and we are coming close to the end of 2009. I feel good about things. My family has had a couple of successful non-funeral based get togethers and I have successfully taught two months of kindergarten!

Last night I went to the sixth birthday party of one of my kids. I showed up figuring that I would drop the present off (at Chucky Cheese), say happy birthday, maybe have a piece of pizza and be on my way. Things turned out much different, but I had a great time. I sat with the child's dad, brother and best friend and talked for almost two hours. I really enjoyed my time with them. It is amazing how much you learn about people in such a short amount of time. I think everyone had a great time. I really felt like part of the community for the first time since I've been in this position.

Yesterday I brought in a huge bag of batting for the snow in our winter display. I put it on the ground and one of the kids asked me if it was snow. I automatically figured she meant fake snow, so I said yes. I walked over to my desk and when I turned around she was kneeling in front of the bag touching it and looking very concerned. She said "Mr. Mason, this snow isn't cold!". I explained to her that it was going to be fake snow. I had a hard time holding back the laughter on that one!

I am really looking forward to the Christmas season with this group!

Giving Thanks: A Bitter Sweet Venture

As I sit here in Pendleton preparing to have Thanksgiving dinner with my dear family, I ponder what I have to be thankful for. So far, here's the list:

• Graduating college, which is a huge thing to be thankful for. I don't know that I ever thought I would finish.
• Having a supportive and encouraging family.
• A long term job in a kindergarten class that I absolutely love.

And that is where I hit a brick wall...

I have to leave my job on January 25th and either find a job or return to subbing. I would probably rather run myself through than go back to subbing after having my own class. Also, there is the issue of committing so much to this wonderful class and then just being done. I am not going to deal with that well. I wish I had thought of that before I started, but I wouldn't trade the time I've had for anything.

I have not had one day of work where I didn't want to get up and go! Everyday has been a thrill for me. I absolutely adore every child in my class, even the naughty one! How will this affect me in 2 months? Will I fall apart, or will I be able to just continue on with pre-kindergarten life? I honestly don't know.

As many of you may or may not know, I quite often wear my heart on my sleeve and am super compulsive when it comes to things that I love. That is probably not a great mix for doing a job that requires a thick skin and a level head, especially one that's "temporary". :)

I will never regret accepting this long term job, and I will always be indebted to Whitney for giving me this opportunity, but I am having to force my "giving of thanks" as I look ahead, which is very selfish of me, I realize, but its where I am.

Thank you God for showing me how much I love what I have chosen as a career. There is truly no doubt that I have made the right choice. Now, I just need some answers on what is next...so bitter sweet.

Short and sweet!

I had a good first day! I won't say great, because it had all the elements of a first day, but it was good. I measure this by the fact that no one died, I didn't have a headache at the end of the day and I still want to go back:)

The biggest challenge for the students and myself is that they are now into a routine and all of that is changing with me! That was our biggest challenge today. Children are really thrown off when routine is thrown off, but I know they will get used to it.

I am exhausted, so I will make this short and sweet. Thank you everyone for your kind words and support. I will have several stories I am sure, but tonight I have zero ounces of energy! Go kindergarten!

Kate the great!

So, I don't want to over do my welcome today, but I have one thing to clear up. In my first post I made a flippant comment about principals and teachers that I was with during my time as an Educational Assistant. I tried to clear it up by talking about a couple of the great teachers I have worked with. I thought it was all settled, then I realized I had left one important person out of my kiss-up blog!

I worked with Kate Barker when she was the principal at Mill Park, two years ago. I always loved how Kate greeted everyone, every morning. She always had a smile on her face and she always made me feel comfortable.

This last summer was a tough one for me. Up until this summer I had never really had to interview for a job. Being rejected over and over is a little hard on the self-esteem. My first two interviews were certainly difficult and I was not feeling ready to go at it again! Of course I continued to look for jobs, but I was not called for any interviews, because there were just too many qualified, unemployed teachers.

Kate posted a kindergarten position. I jumped at the opportunity to apply for a job where I would not only be in kindergarten, but I would get to work with Kate again. The closing day came and went and I didn't hear anything, so I just chalked it up to another swing and a miss.

A day after closing I go an email from Kate telling me to come in for an interview with her and Matt, another great person that works with Kate.

I went in and gave a good interview and they invited me back for a second interview. The second interview was in front of several of the teachers from Kate's school. I was SO nervous! She came and got me for the interview. She told me that the reason I did so well in the last interview was that I was myself. I didn't try to be something else. This meant a lot to me, but I FROZE in the second interview. I answered most of the questions well, but it took me a little longer than it should have to come up with an answer. As much as you want to be yourself in an interview, you can't help but think about what they want to hear.

3 painstakingly difficult days after the interview, Kate called me and told me that I had not gotten the job. I thanked her for giving me the opportunity to interview. She told me that the only opportunity she had given me was the first interview, and that I had completely earned the second interview.

Several days after this phone call she met with me and gave me some pointers for my next interview.

Kate has always gone the extra mile for me, and the experience that I got by going through that ordeal is priceless. Since then she has continued to look out for me and my development into a great teacher. Thank you Kate!

Ready or not here I come!

Today had many twists and turns. I have to say that as of yet there has not been one boring day! Today just abused the privilege. I subbed in a kindergarten class that was rumored to be the class from...well not a good place!

I was actually pleasantly surprised as the day began. The children were very well behaved and we had a very good morning. The afternoon was very simple due to music class, art, an assembly and fun Friday, which is a play time for the children (we watched a "Kidsongs" video.)

At the assembly the song Pump Up the Jam was playing and I started dancing, which amused the kindergartners, and everyone else I guess. I started clapping to the beat and the entire gymnasium of children started clapping with me...I loved it! I don't know if anyone knows this about me, but I am kind of a ham...what what WHAT!

So far you're like...wow this is kind of a boring story Wayne! You promised twist and turns...well in an attempt to keep your attention and admiration, I will get right to the point.

The teacher that I am supposed to take over for on October 15th confirmed with me today that today was her last day of work. She wants me to start on Monday...the 5th!

YES, I am excited.

YES, I am overwhelmed with the thought of starting now with my college classes having just started.

YES, I think I will do a great job.

YES, I still question my preparedness.

YES, I will do it.

YES, I will work tirelessly to be successful.

Is all of that self-indulgent...maybe a little. I sometimes have to be self-indulgent, or else I start making excuses for why I might not be able to handle everything that is coming my direction. There is no reason why I can't do it all...well...me, energy drinks, family, and of course a lot of prayer.

Okay, I am done.

I will continue my blog, because the only thing better than meeting different children everyday is spending everyday with the same children. I will not be short on stories and insights!